Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
TIM ALLENI had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
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I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
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My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
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Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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I have a thing for tools.
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If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, let’s be fair, that means you’ve got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you’ve done. It’s okay to say, “God, I wish I’d done this; yeah, but I did do that.” Then it kind of balances out.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
TIM ALLEN