There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we’re planning for the parade.
SHAQUILLE O'NEALI’m dominant every night. I come in every night and get beat up.
More Shaquille O'Neal Quotes
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The best quality about Kobe Bryant? You want me to be honest? I don’t know. I’ll tell you why. I open my arms to everybody. But he never stepped forward for the embrace. So I never really got to know him. I don’t know anything about him, and it’s kinda sad.
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As a general, and as a leader of this team, whatever I’ve got to do get my guys going I’ll do it every time. If I have to be the bad guy sometime, I’ll guess I’ll take that. That’s what a leader and a general and a chief of police does.
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I never make a face when they try to flagrant or hack-a-Shaq me, because I’m not from this planet. Earthlings don’t faze me.
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We’re focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it’s not good enough to get you fat. We’re trying to get fat.
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Stats don’t matter. I care about winning, not stats. If I score 0 points and we win I’m happy. If I score 50, 60 points, break the records, and we lose.
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It’s LeBron’s team. He’s the captain. This is the time in my career where I can fit in. I’m now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that’s what I’m here to do.
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A pinch is a pinch. If you pinch my right nipple, I’m going to say, ‘ouch.’ If I pinch your right nipple, you’re going to say ‘ouch.’ A foul is a foul and a flagrant is a flagrant.
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He’s the president. I’m the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says.
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I don’t think anything of Laura Frank. You heard me – Laura Frank. Not Lawrence. Laura… It’s not that I blame him, I just wish he’d go to a manly tactic and just fight me. Don’t whine. When he whines, that’s when I change his name of Lawrence Frank.
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Opinions are like belly buttons; everybody has one. I never knock a man for his opinion.
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When I come back, we’ll all need each other to step up our games and do what needs to be done.
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Everybody is not going to like it, but I don’t care if they like or not. I’m Bush, so if they don’t like it resign.
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But, hey I did everything the right way and earned my spot in this game, nothing was given to me.
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It’s his show and I’m just trying to make him look good. If we were the same age there might be a little tension, but I’m on my way out… I am here to serve your every need, King James.
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He’s a jokester, and that’s funny, very funny. Ha-ha. Very funny.
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL