“Government is not a solution to our problem government is the problem.”

An economist is someone who sees something that works in practice and wonders if it would work in theory.

The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would steal them away.

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets.

Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders.

Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.

Entrepreneurs and their small enterprises are responsible for almost all the economic growth in the United States.

America is too great for small dreams.

Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.

Government does not solve problems. It subsidizes them.

Freedom is not free.

We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much.

We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we will always be free.

Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.

Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.

Government is like a baby: an alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

Government is like a baby: an alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.

I’m still a little certain I’m a wizard.

I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.

Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

Some things are so serious, they can only be joked about.

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, ‘Yeah. I’m going to retire.’ They said, ‘Well, we’ll give you $9 million.’ And I said, ‘You got a pen on you?’

The only grounds for divorce in California are marriage.