You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITEIt never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
More Ron White Quotes
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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I go through about 140 cities a year.
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