I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITEIt never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
More Ron White Quotes
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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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