I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITEIt never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
More Ron White Quotes
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
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I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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