If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
RON WHITEIt never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
More Ron White Quotes
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I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
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If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITE