When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
RON WHITEIt never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
More Ron White Quotes
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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