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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.

Ron White

There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITE

Class Forever Go Pill Stupid Take
Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
RON WHITE

Diamond Minute Shut
I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
RON WHITE

Except Imagine Kep Life Listen Long People Plan Specific Talk
I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
RON WHITE

Call Direct Go Movie New Only People Role Wrote
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
RON WHITE

Everybody Joke Know Writer
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITE

Brain Laugh People Somebody Stage Surgeon Teach Walk
I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITE

Born Day Eye Great Horse Life Mother Nice Wrong
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE

Actual Beer Diet Drink Fat Guy Real Scotch Tequila Year
I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
RON WHITE

Even Kid Listen Little Love
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE

Daughter Face Guy Hold Left Limb Month Smile Talk Though
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
RON WHITE

Doctor Drywall Get Hanger Lawyer Mall Over Plumber World
Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
RON WHITE

Bit Build Could Country Good Idea People President Single Tunnel
I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
RON WHITE

Big Good Part Rather Really
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
RON WHITE

Believe Collaborative Creative Everything Somewhat
I go through about 140 cities a year.
RON WHITE

City Go Through Yera
I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
RON WHITE

Central Comedy Enjoy Watch

Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.

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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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