You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITEI didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
More Ron White Quotes
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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I go through about 140 cities a year.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
RON WHITE