Andy Rooney Quotes

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.

We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.

I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.

Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.

Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.

I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.