Al Franken Quotes

People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.

There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.

We need an investigation, because we don’t know what Donald Trump owes Russia.

When you live in New York, one of two things happen – you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.

We don’t know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.

I can assure you, this is not about spying on the American people.

I’m part of the mushball middle. I consider ‘confused’ the majority position because, thankfully.

Which is why I think any loving, committed couple — gay or straight — should be able to get married.

I also focus on Bush and his administration – who do a lot of lying – and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with.

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.