“Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.”

As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.

Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival.

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

I have frequently been misrepresented. I don’t hate the press; I find a lot of it is very unpalatable.

British women can’t cook.

It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

Everything that wasn’t invented by God is invented by an engineer.

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

We live in what virtually amounts to a museum – which does not happen to a lot of people.

I had been playing polo, and I decided to give up at the age of 50.

Wildlife of the world is disappearing, not because of a malicious and deliberate policy of slaughter and extermination, but simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect.

Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.

It’s better to get out before you reach the sell-by date.

Never complain. Never explain.

By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.

Don’t moan, don’t whine, don’t blame. Just get on with it.

It is absurd for the Evolutionist to complain that it is unthinkable for an admittedly unthinkable God to make everything out of nothing and then pretend that it is more thinkable that nothing should turn itself into everything.

My whole life I have been complaining that my work was constantly interrupted, until I discovered that my interruptions were my work.

The woman’s position in the world today is so much harder than a man’s that it makes me choke every time I hear a man complain about anything.

You can complain about what you can’t change or you can focus on what you can change.

Read the Bible. Work hard and honestly. And don’t complain.