I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
P. J. O'ROURKESouthern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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I’m old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
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A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty.
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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
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If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
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The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
P. J. O'ROURKE