Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
P. J. O'ROURKENever fight an inanimate object.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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Rich people don’t like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don’t go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.
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The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
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The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
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Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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Global warming is a fact. Now it’s up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.
P. J. O'ROURKE