To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
P. J. O'ROURKEYou’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
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Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
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When you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
P. J. O'ROURKE