Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
P. J. O'ROURKEYou’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the ’70s. The reason was that prior relationships had not endured the strain of war.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
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Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
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Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
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Rich people don’t like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don’t go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
P. J. O'ROURKE