The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
P. J. O'ROURKEWhen buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
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The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
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Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There’s more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it’s awfully close to human.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
P. J. O'ROURKE