“When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.”

You want to go to work with people you like and where everyone is having fun.

You just have to make a choice to just refuse to be involved with things that could get you in trouble.

Until you have kids, you can’t imagine how much you could possibly love a human being.

I’m really insecure about everything.

Sometimes I say things that I think are obviously sarcastic and people take them quite literally.

I’m very confident in how I project my personality.

I would love to do a movie naked; it would be beautiful. No one dares make that kind of film today. They did it in the 1930s in an arty way, so why not now?

If alcohol is legal, I don’t see why people still have a ban on marijuana.

I believe that every interaction is an act of fate in some way, that we’re meant to interact with them, and it’s our job to flesh that out and experience it to the fullest and learn the lessons we’re meant to.

I’m a passionate individual, and sometimes when I have strong feelings about a subject, I feel the need to express myself.

Hollywood is the most superficial thing you could possibly be a part of and if I weren’t attractive I wouldn’t be working at all.

I feel like if you are with someone through the process of pregnancy and delivery, if nothing else, there is such an incredible amount of respect that would lead into some sort of love in one way or another.

My body parts are all I have left now that are only mine – the world owns everything else.

There are many sides to me to who I am and my personality. I think the only thing that is rebellious about me is that I don’t really have a lot of fears, as far as film industry is concerned.

My definition of beauty is simplicity, elegance, and sensuality. I think that when a woman is in harmony with herself and remains true to her values, she will glow naturally.

When you become a celebrity, the world owns you and your image.

If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.

I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.

There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

I kid around a lot, but pranks are not my best strength!

There’s a lot of comedy in Intermission but it’s got this depth. It’s not comedy for comedy’s sake – it’s informed by something else. I like stuff like that

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.

I’m not the guy with the enormous comedy nose or the big feet or the bad posture or the whatever; a physical comic has certain things.