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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?

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The road to success is always under construction.
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Construction Inspirational Road Success
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
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Death Laughter Smart Survive Work
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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Complain Invention Language Man Satisfaction
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
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One Liner Privacy
To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
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God Ourselves Prayer Talk
Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
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Death Funny Myself Serious
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
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Impossible Myself News Reading
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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Beautiful Funny Hairs Library Truth
I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
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Actor Community Famous Myself Stage Yourself
If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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Hard Inspirational Motivational Perspective Soft Try
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
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Feeling Imagination Myself
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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Name Top Yourself
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
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In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
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Alone Feeling Heart Mindset Myself Night
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
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Help Myself Thinking Trouble Worst

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