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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Lily Tomlin

Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
LILY TOMLIN

Greatness Growth World
No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Change Enough Myself Transformation
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
LILY TOMLIN

Down Fast relief Slow Try
To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
LILY TOMLIN

Freedom Myself Sex Willing
The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
LILY TOMLIN

Moral People Photograph
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
LILY TOMLIN

Ourselves Togetherness
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Impossible Myself News Reading
Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Lose Play Share Space Win
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
LILY TOMLIN

Home Myself Teacher Thinking
My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
LILY TOMLIN

Education Empathy Growth Human Kind Myself Politics Religion
Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
LILY TOMLIN

Ego Infinity One Liner Time Trip
I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Myself Try
Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Hands Ladder Road Success
When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
LILY TOMLIN

God Ourselves Prayer Talk
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

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