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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Lily Tomlin

If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Hairs Library Woman
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection One Liner Perspective Reality
Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Human Invention Language
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
LILY TOMLIN

Home Myself Teacher Thinking
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Thinking Worry
You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
LILY TOMLIN

Fear Thinking Yourself
Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
LILY TOMLIN

Difference Integrity Myself Past Truth
To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
LILY TOMLIN

Freedom Myself Sex Willing
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Impossible Myself News Reading
Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
LILY TOMLIN

Place Sorry Yourself
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Success World Worry
People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
LILY TOMLIN

Acceptance Creation Kind Myself People
Remember we’re all in this alone.
LILY TOMLIN

Alone One Liner Remember
I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
LILY TOMLIN

Action Deep Inspirational Motivational Myself
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

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