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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Lily Tomlin

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
LILY TOMLIN

Down Fast relief Slow Try
People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
LILY TOMLIN

Acceptance Creation Kind Myself People
If you can’t be direct, why be?
LILY TOMLIN

Direct Yourself
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone
In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
LILY TOMLIN

Alone Feeling Heart Mindset Myself Night
Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Hands Ladder Road Success
Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
LILY TOMLIN

Ego Infinity One Liner Time Trip
I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Myself Try
I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself People Profit Thinking War
If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
LILY TOMLIN

Fame Myself Settle Willing
I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Dirty Myself Sex
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
LILY TOMLIN

Leadership Reality Touch
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
LILY TOMLIN

Love Question Yourself
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful
Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Lose Play Share Space Win

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

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