You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
LILY TOMLINWe have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.
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Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
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The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
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In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
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Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN