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Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Lewis Grizzard

There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Dirty Hard Inheritance Reality Sex Yourself
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Football Game Life Opportunity Problem Score Yourself
Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Farm Grow Money Tree
Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Creativity Language Life Passion Soul Teaching Work
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Family Grow Home Myself Small
It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Better Children Death News Politics Slow
Spring time is the land awakening.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Awaken Land Time
Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Enjoyment Sex Start Woman
There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Food Time Wrong Yourself
I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Happiness Hate Man Myself Peace
There’s no such thing as being too Southern.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Identity Personality South
Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Death Feeling Goodness Myself
It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Difficult Eat Happiness Thinking
They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Heart Myself
I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Myself Restaurant Smoking
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Choice Gift Home Marriage Myself Woman

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

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Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

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