Spring time is the land awakening.
LEWIS GRIZZARDSpring time is the land awakening.
LEWIS GRIZZARDInstead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThere’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThey tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
LEWIS GRIZZARDLet’s all start walking more and driving less.
LEWIS GRIZZARDYou call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’
LEWIS GRIZZARDKinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
LEWIS GRIZZARDI’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
LEWIS GRIZZARDMoney doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
LEWIS GRIZZARDWhen My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
LEWIS GRIZZARDI get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.
LEWIS GRIZZARDLife is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARDMama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThere is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
LEWIS GRIZZARDBaptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
LEWIS GRIZZARDI finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
LEWIS GRIZZARD