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Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

Lewis Grizzard

It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Better Children Death News Politics Slow
It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Difficult Eat Happiness Thinking
Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Death Feeling Goodness Myself
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Animal Difference Sex
I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Myself Restaurant Smoking
Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Afraid Dance Love Stand Thinking
Today’s sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, “Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?”
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Crazy Discussion Ideas Male Open Relationship Yourself
They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Heart Myself
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Life Sexuality Sick
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Attitude Call Cat Dog Myself Yourself
Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Change Different Language Talk Understand Word
Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Creativity Language Life Passion Soul Teaching Work
I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Letters Marriage Myself People Possible Woman
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Change Dog Leadership Yourself
Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Change Dog Leadership Life Race
I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
LEWIS GRIZZARD

Beyond Education Intelligence People

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

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Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

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