History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind.
JOSEPH HELLERBe glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.
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He was never without misery, and never without hope.
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I don’t understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.
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For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
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When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
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You’re an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I’m an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I’m in an ideal position to appreciate it.
JOSEPH HELLER