…the more unlived your life, the greater your death anxiety.
IRVIN D. YALOMLiving safely is dangerous.
More Irvin D. Yalom Quotes
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Every person must choose how much truth he can stand.
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When we have forgotten ourselves and become absorbed in someone (or something) outside ourselves
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… sooner or later she had to give up the hope for a better past.
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Indeed, the evidence supporting the efficacy of group therapy, and the prevailing sentiment of the mental health profession, are sufficiently strong that it would be difficult to defend the adequacy of the inpatient unit that attempted to operate without a small group program.
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A focus on this deep dissatisfaction is often the starting point in overcoming death anxiety.
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Death, however, does itch. It itches all the time. It is always with us, scratching at some inner door.
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Death cures psychoneurosis. In a sense all these neurotic concerns–fear of rejection, interpersonal concerns–seem to melt away, and people get another perspective on their lives. The important things are really important, and the trivia of life is trivialized.
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All these things I’ve written so much about. That’s why I’ve made such a practice really, over and over to hammer home the point of self-revelation and being more of yourself and showing yourself. Every book I write I want to get that in there.
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Many people are in despair because their dreams didn’t come true, and they despair even more that they did not make them come true.
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Psychotherapy is a cyclical process from isolation into relationship. It is cyclical because the patient, in terror of existential isolation, relates deeply and meaningfully to the therapist and then, strengthened by this encounter, is led back again to a confrontation with existential isolation.
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Some day soon, perhaps in forty years, there will be no one alive who has ever known me. That’s when I will be truly dead – when I exist in no one’s memory.
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I think we ripple on into others, just like a stone puts its ripples into a brook. That, for me, too, is a source of comfort. It kind of, in a sense, negates the sense of total oblivion.
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He had learned long ago that, in general, the easier it was for anxious patients to reach him, the less likely they were to call. (107)
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Therapists need to have a long experience in personal therapy to see what it’s like to be on the other side of the couch and see what they find helpful or not helpful. And if possible, get into therapy at different stages of their life with different kinds of therapists just to sample a bit.
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To the extent that one is responsible for one’s life, one is alone.
IRVIN D. YALOM