If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
H. L. MENCKENLaws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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Always remember this: If you don’t attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
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What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
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Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
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After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done.
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There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.
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No one in this world, so far as I know – and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me – has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.
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Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
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The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one’s time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
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The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.
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Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.
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Sometimes the idiots outvote the sensible people.
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The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.
H. L. MENCKEN