“There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.””

There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.

It doesn’t take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.

Don’t overestimate the decency of the human race.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?

When a man or woman is truly honest, it is virtually impossible to insult them personally.

I have no taste for either poverty or honest labor, so writing is the only recourse left for me.

Honestly, every movie I do in America, the only challenge for me is English. I’ve done everything already, for me it’s pretty easy. Only the English.

I can honestly say that I was never affected by the question of the success of an undertaking. If I felt it was the right thing to do, I was for it regardless of the possible outcome.

Dishonesty of any kind will create a blemish.

I just always stay honest with myself. All my stuff isn’t boastful, but some of it is. But that’s just the music, the art.

Honestly, I just think we all have special gifts, everyone. You know, obviously, some are more noticeable than others and that’s why there’s the limelight. Everybody’s in it.

You can tell an honest artist from one who’s just given all their songs.