Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKENLove is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
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Government’s great contribution to human wisdom is the discovery that the taxpayer has more than one pocket.
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
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Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.
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The only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address was that it was the South, not the North, that was fighting for a government of the people, by the people and for the people.
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The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.
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When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
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A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion.
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Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
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The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.
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Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
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Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right.
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After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done.
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Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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On one issue, at least, men and women agree. They both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN






