Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.
H. L. MENCKENThere is no idea so stupid that you can’t find a professor who will believe it.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
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The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
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The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it’s good-bye to the Bill of Rights.
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No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.
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On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
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When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
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The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.
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There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”
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Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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When fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKEN