Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
ERMA BOMBECKMy kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECK -
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECK -
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK -
He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
ERMA BOMBECK -
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
ERMA BOMBECK -
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK -
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK







