How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECKHow come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
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Children make your life important.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
ERMA BOMBECK