When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
ERMA BOMBECKHow come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Children make your life important.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK