Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECKGood kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
ERMA BOMBECK -
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK -
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Success is outliving your failures.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
ERMA BOMBECK