Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
ERMA BOMBECKGood kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
-
-
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECK -
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK -
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK -
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
ERMA BOMBECK