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Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.

Ellen DeGeneres

So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Government Mean Sarcasm
I admire people who know they can’t sing. There are so many people out there who can’t sing, but they think they can, so they sing a lot.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Admire People Thinking
I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cute Funny Hilarious
Yeah I’m thirty-six, but on the show I’m thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fake People Reality Years
We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we’re cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Ironic Mistake Warning
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Car Room Rooms Tiny
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Day Enjoy Growing Mistake
Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Life Procrastination
This is my real secret to being a joyful person: I make my life easy. I spend more time being grateful for what I have instead of focusing on what isn’t working. I no longer believe that people have to do things my way and that I have to be perfect.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Believe Grateful Real
Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Moving Procrastination Way
I’m sure there’s somebody out there who doesn’t like Betty White because she’s short and has white hair.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Hair Somebody White
Please raise your children with love and non-judgement. Tell them everyone has the right to love who they want to love. It shouldn’t threaten you or who you are.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Children Judgement Want
Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Attitude Beautiful Beauty Inner
Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Another Bye Kind People
I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men School Texas
We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Emphasis Energy Happy Vibrant

Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.

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Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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