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The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

Ellen DeGeneres

So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Phone Reality Technology
We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Emphasis Energy Happy Vibrant
Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Attitude Beautiful Beauty Inner
I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Goes On Saws Vegan
I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Funny Humor
When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Whistling
Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Another Bye Kind People
Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Called Dust Something Thinking Wipe
In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Know Mean Pants Size
If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Moving Spring Want
You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dresses Funny Humor
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Happiness Key Keys Realizing
You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Book Hard Women Work
I’m glad I’m funny. I’m glad I make people happy, because that’s very important. But I’m proud to be known as a kind person.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Compassion Kindness People
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Ideas
There is something about TM. It is the only time I have that stillness… It gives me this peaceful feeling-I just love it so much.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Giving Peaceful
I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Aunt Children Discipline
I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Animal Home Pet Resentment
I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I’m about to take a bite of something.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Nice Pictures Somebody Worry
I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore – like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Birthday Crazy Happy Kids
Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Law Lawyer Legal System
I had everything I’d hoped for, but I wasn’t being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn’t like me for being… me.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Everything Funny People Strange
What goes up must come down, which is why I don’t wear tube tops.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Come Down Tops Tubes
My dream guests are really not so much celebrities. They’re people who are actually interesting and they’re doing something interesting with their lives or had an interesting experience in some way. I really enjoy talking to regular, everyday people.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dream Interesting Talking
Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Being Comedian Teenage Yourself
Most people don’t get to laugh, be free, dance, be surrounded by this energy. It’s important to remind people to take that home. I want the world to start shifting [to] a more positive energy.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Home Important Laughing People
I was raised in an atmosphere of ‘everything’s fine.’ But as I got older, I was like, ‘Well no, everything’s not fine. There is stuff that’s sad.’ I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Atmosphere Person Sensitive Thinking

The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

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The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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