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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

Dorothy Parker

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER

Character Drink Identity Myself Problem Writing
But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER

Forget Give Up Inspirational Myself One Liner
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER

Animal Business People Right Yourself
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Myself Word Writing
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER

Diamond Health Money Myself
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fools Myself Sorry Touch
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Challenge Honesty Survive Test Yourself
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKER

Education Learning Yourself
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER

Himself Run Stay
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER

Better Death Goodness Herself Judgement
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER

Burn Heart Myself Safety Scars
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Myself Oneself Thinking
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

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