If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKERIf I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKERThe best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKERWhere unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.
DOROTHY PARKERThere’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKERThose who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
DOROTHY PARKERI like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKERI like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKERIt’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
DOROTHY PARKERThe definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERNow I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKERAnd I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKERA hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKERGenius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKERNow, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKERI’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKEROh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
DOROTHY PARKER