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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

Dorothy Parker

By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death Lying Marriage Passion Promise Time Yourself
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deep God Himself Money People Thinking
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fingers Hands Leaving Love Wisdom
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Angry Food Funny Grapes Wine
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Hate Hell Identity Love Myself Yourself
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
DOROTHY PARKER

Identity Literature Study Yourself
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Surprise Woman
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Girl Man Wear
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death People Young
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER

Act Quick
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deny Fake Lying Storm Trouble
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Enough Friendship Funny Home Need Place Room
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Easy Love People Sweet Yourself
I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
DOROTHY PARKER

Mindset True Writing
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER

Best Books Hands Myself Run
You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Responsibility Yourself

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

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