If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
DOROTHY PARKERThat would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
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And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
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Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
DOROTHY PARKER