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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

Dick Cavett

Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don’t happen.
DICK CAVETT

Chance Coincidence Thinking
The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I’m not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Joke Mystery Process Result Study Subject
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
DICK CAVETT

Acceptance Financial People Profit Yourself
I don’t think anyone ever gets over the surprise of how differently one audience’s reaction is from another.
DICK CAVETT

Audience Different Myself Reaction Surprise Thinking
I’m not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn’t really bother me.
DICK CAVETT

Joke Myself Short Show Subject
Every time someone says, ‘You know, we really ought to get together,’ if I were really honest, I would ask ‘Why?’
DICK CAVETT

Honesty Myself Time Togetherness
There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
DICK CAVETT

Comedy Street Television
I think I’d be pretty easy to write for.
DICK CAVETT

Easy Myself Pretty Thinking Writing
A conversation does not have to be scintillating in order to be memorable. I once met a president of the United States, and his second sentence to me was about knees.
DICK CAVETT

Conversation Memorable Myself Order Sentence
Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.
DICK CAVETT

Beyond Criticism Death Declare Escape Reproach
Every comic can report a few ‘gift from the gods’ moments.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Gift God Moments Report
If your parents never had children, chances are neither will you.
DICK CAVETT

Children Parents Yourself
Does anything show the complexity of the miraculous brain more than that weird curiosity, the sleep-protection dream?
DICK CAVETT

Complex Curiosity Dreams Protection Weird
The emotions in all true anxiety dreams are next to unbearable.
DICK CAVETT

Anxiety Bear Dreams Emotion True
It’s a tribute to the human brain that anyone is able to function out there on television in a talk situation that is entirely artificial.
DICK CAVETT

Artificial Function Human Situation Tribute
It’s not always easy to identify your own voice. It comes with time.
DICK CAVETT

Easy Identify Time Voice Yourself

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

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