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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

Dick Cavett

I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
DICK CAVETT

Children Feeling Fools Guide Home Parents Poor Smart
Every so often, there is an article saying the old kind of talk show isn’t possible now. In the oldest kind of talk show, you only had the choice of that or two other channels!
DICK CAVETT

Article Channel Choice Kind Old Possible
Japanese is sort of a hobby of mine, and I can get around Japan with ease.
DICK CAVETT

Easy Hobby Interest Myself
I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
DICK CAVETT

Advantage Laughter Myself Night Stand Work
Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.
DICK CAVETT

Site Try Weapon Wish
The sudden death at 51 of James Gandolfini is intolerable.
DICK CAVETT

Death Myself Tolerance
Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.
DICK CAVETT

Comedy See Student
Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, ‘It was a perfect script for she and I,’ inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, ‘Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?’
DICK CAVETT

Blessing Head Movie Myself Perfection Teacher
A conversation does not have to be scintillating in order to be memorable. I once met a president of the United States, and his second sentence to me was about knees.
DICK CAVETT

Conversation Memorable Myself Order Sentence
The authority of depression is horrifying. I felt like my brain was busted and that I could never feel good again. I really thought that I was never gonna heal.
DICK CAVETT

Authority Depression Feeling Horrible
Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.
DICK CAVETT

Promotion See Subtle
Home schooling as an idea is on a par with home dentistry.
DICK CAVETT

Dentist Home Ideas School
A biggest mistake I made when I started doing a talk show was I thought you had to read the books.
DICK CAVETT

Big Book Mistake Reading Start Yourself
Every comic can report a few ‘gift from the gods’ moments.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Gift God Moments Report
In the main, ghosts are said to be forlorn and generally miserable, if not downright depressed. The jolly ghost is rare.
DICK CAVETT

Depression Ghost Misery Rare
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.

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