“I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.”

I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.

Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.

I haven’t ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.

Music bypasses the brain and goes straight to the heart. I wish my life had more of it.

I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.

Sloppy language leads to sloppy thought, and sloppy thought to sloppy legislation.

The authority of depression is horrifying. I felt like my brain was busted and that I could never feel good again. I really thought that I was never gonna heal.

Therapists need to give a depressed patient support and direction.

Commercials are not the only exposure that obesity gets on TV. It is by no means a rarity on the wonderful Judge Judy’s show when both plaintiff and accused all but literally fill the screen.

I don’t see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty – and evaporating quickly.

I don’t feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

A biggest mistake I made when I started doing a talk show was I thought you had to read the books.

Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.

The sudden death at 51 of James Gandolfini is intolerable.

The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.

Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.