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I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.

Dick Cavett

Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.
DICK CAVETT

Beyond Criticism Death Declare Escape Reproach
To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
DICK CAVETT

Intellectual Label Myself Understand
My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Intelligence Myself
Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?
DICK CAVETT

Age Photograph Yourself
Every comic can report a few ‘gift from the gods’ moments.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Gift God Moments Report
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
DICK CAVETT

Dirty Food Letter Mindset Word
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen
I have a disturbing problem with losing things. My vulnerability to loss-distress could properly be labeled not only inordinate, but neurotic.
DICK CAVETT

Disturb Label Lose Myself Problem Vulnerable
Great humorists are great insulters.
DICK CAVETT

Great Humor Insult
I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.
DICK CAVETT

Call Exception Interest Laughter Myself Religion
Chris Matthews can’t start any sentence without ‘Let me ask you this… ‘ And I love Chris Matthews! But almost everybody in journalism does it. Who’s stopping you? Just say it!
DICK CAVETT

Journalism Myself Sentence Start
I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.
DICK CAVETT

Chocolate Hands Ideas Myself Practice Shock Worst
If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.
DICK CAVETT

Campaign Comedy Myself Pizza Run Talent Wisdom Young
Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don’t happen.
DICK CAVETT

Chance Coincidence Thinking
History is not reassuring on the subject of the longevity of seemingly lasting great nations, is it?
DICK CAVETT

Assurance Greatness History Subject Union
I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you’re hungry for power.
DICK CAVETT

Eat Food Hungry Myself Power

I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.

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I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.

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