Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?
DICK CAVETTThere is something about a Luger that separates it from all other handguns, and Luger devotees and Luger society members speak of it in romantic terms that must sound plain nuts to those who consider themselves level-headed.
More Dick Cavett Quotes
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The trick to writing for people is, you have to be able to turn them on in your head. And know how they’d word something or how they’d inflect it.
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I confess, I do have to remind myself almost daily that there are people on this earth capable of reading, writing, eating and dressing themselves who believe their lives are ruled from billions of miles away, by the stars – and, of course, the planets.
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I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
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I find most ‘sacred music’ pretty dismal.
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As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
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My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.
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Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.
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I don’t think anyone ever gets over the surprise of how differently one audience’s reaction is from another.
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Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.
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I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.
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The emotions in all true anxiety dreams are next to unbearable.
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You would have to be naive to think you can appear on television and not have the material edited in some way.
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Unpleasant reading on the subject of anger tells us that there’s not really anything wrong with it. In limited amounts. It can even be a good thing. A pressure valve.
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Why are sex and violence always linked? I’m afraid they’ll blur together in people’s minds – sexandviolence – until we can’t tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, “The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.”
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Every time someone says, ‘You know, we really ought to get together,’ if I were really honest, I would ask ‘Why?’
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Lawyers work hard and, like us, they’re human, many of them.
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It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.
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Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.
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If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.
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I like when the ice gets thin, the going gets rough, the guests get edgy.
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Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.
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There are online forms you can fill out to send to your lawmakers, demanding that nothing – nothing at all or in any way – be done about any guns whatever, anywhere.
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I’ve actually gotten so I don’t associate television with entertainment very much.
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Running my show is really like an actor being in repertory but where, in one day in one performance, you do scenes from a drama, a farce, a low comedy and a tragedy.
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I’m sure I’ve all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer’s ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’ as more of an exercise in anti-comedy than humor.
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I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn’t include someone the size of the Hindenburg.
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