Great humorists are great insulters.
DICK CAVETTI love my own coincidences and love to hear other peoples’ stories.
More Dick Cavett Quotes
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The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I’m not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.
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Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it’s hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to be what you are.
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While other kids were out playing and doing healthy things, I read an ancient judo book with a neck hold that was fatal to so many people they finally dropped it from judo.
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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.
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To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
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If your parents never had children, chances are neither will you.
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A conversation does not have to be scintillating in order to be memorable. I once met a president of the United States, and his second sentence to me was about knees.
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To call New York’s traffic at holiday time a nightmare is to understate.
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I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
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Running my show is really like an actor being in repertory but where, in one day in one performance, you do scenes from a drama, a farce, a low comedy and a tragedy.
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It takes a certain amount of guts to go to your class reunions.
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Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
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When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
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The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that’s long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.
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Lawyers work hard and, like us, they’re human, many of them.
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You have to be on TV a surprisingly long time before you’re stopped on the street. Then, when you are, you get a lot of, ‘Hey, you’re great! What’s your name again?’
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Home schooling as an idea is on a par with home dentistry.
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I find most ‘sacred music’ pretty dismal.
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It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.
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I confess, I do have to remind myself almost daily that there are people on this earth capable of reading, writing, eating and dressing themselves who believe their lives are ruled from billions of miles away, by the stars – and, of course, the planets.
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Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
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Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.
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Teaching is an art and a profession requiring years of training.
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I live a sensible life. You know, I don’t take on too much.
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There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: ‘What’s your sign?’ Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.
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Therapists need to give a depressed patient support and direction.
DICK CAVETT