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There were several things a Yale freshman was supposed to be able to do. You had to demonstrate in the Olympic-size Yale pool that you could swim 50 yards or be inducted into swimming class.

Dick Cavett

Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.
DICK CAVETT

Comedy See Student
Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it’s hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to be what you are.
DICK CAVETT

Comedy Need Resent Writing Yourself
It takes a certain amount of guts to go to your class reunions.
DICK CAVETT

Amount Class Union
I live a sensible life. You know, I don’t take on too much.
DICK CAVETT

Life Live Myself
I haven’t ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.
DICK CAVETT

Appreciation Art Form Greatness Wonderful Writing
My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.
DICK CAVETT

Achievement Dreams Myself Night Someday
Music bypasses the brain and goes straight to the heart. I wish my life had more of it.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Heart Life Music Straight
Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.
DICK CAVETT

Assumption Finance Handle Himself People Treat
I like when the ice gets thin, the going gets rough, the guests get edgy.
DICK CAVETT

Edge Guest Ice Myself
I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.
DICK CAVETT

Chocolate Hands Ideas Myself Practice Shock Worst
I’m not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn’t really bother me.
DICK CAVETT

Joke Myself Short Show Subject
Every time someone says, ‘You know, we really ought to get together,’ if I were really honest, I would ask ‘Why?’
DICK CAVETT

Honesty Myself Time Togetherness
Every so often, there is an article saying the old kind of talk show isn’t possible now. In the oldest kind of talk show, you only had the choice of that or two other channels!
DICK CAVETT

Article Channel Choice Kind Old Possible
In relative youth, we assume we’ll remember everything. Someone should urge the young to think otherwise.
DICK CAVETT

Relative Remember Thinking Youth
Sloppy language leads to sloppy thought, and sloppy thought to sloppy legislation.
DICK CAVETT

Language Leadership Thinking
I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
DICK CAVETT

Funny Myself People
Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, ‘It was a perfect script for she and I,’ inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, ‘Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?’
DICK CAVETT

Blessing Head Movie Myself Perfection Teacher
I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
DICK CAVETT

Children Feeling Fools Guide Home Parents Poor Smart
The trick to writing for people is, you have to be able to turn them on in your head. And know how they’d word something or how they’d inflect it.
DICK CAVETT

Head Inflection Trick Word Writing Yourself
Why are sex and violence always linked? I’m afraid they’ll blur together in people’s minds – sexandviolence – until we can’t tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, “The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.”
DICK CAVETT

Afraid Mindset Myself People Police Sex Violence
Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.
DICK CAVETT

Beyond Criticism Death Declare Escape Reproach
An effective speaker can do more damage or more good in a well-stated minute than an angry klutz could do in half an hour.
DICK CAVETT

Damage Goodness Talk Time
I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
DICK CAVETT

Advantage Laughter Myself Night Stand Work
Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?
DICK CAVETT

Age Photograph Yourself
The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I’m not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Joke Mystery Process Result Study Subject
Depression – it falls into that small category of things like combat that, if you haven’t been in it, you can say you can imagine it all you like. But it’s truly different.
DICK CAVETT

Category Depression Different Small True
Meryl Streep belongs on anybody’s list of greats.
DICK CAVETT

Greatness List Name

There were several things a Yale freshman was supposed to be able to do. You had to demonstrate in the Olympic-size Yale pool that you could swim 50 yards or be inducted into swimming class.

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There were several things a Yale freshman was supposed to be able to do. You had to demonstrate in the Olympic-size Yale pool that you could swim 50 yards or be inducted into swimming class.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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