I hate Danny Kaye movies.
DICK CAVETTBeing the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, ‘It was a perfect script for she and I,’ inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, ‘Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?’
More Dick Cavett Quotes
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Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it’s painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it’s extremely painful.
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When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
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My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.
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It was well after college that I learned about depression. I got my first job for Jack Paar. I realized I was sleeping 14 hours a day and just living for the Paar show.
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I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
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I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you’re hungry for power.
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Great humorists are great insulters.
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In relative youth, we assume we’ll remember everything. Someone should urge the young to think otherwise.
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I think I’d be pretty easy to write for.
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Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.
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It takes a certain amount of guts to go to your class reunions.
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Does anything show the complexity of the miraculous brain more than that weird curiosity, the sleep-protection dream?
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I’m not the guy with the enormous comedy nose or the big feet or the bad posture or the whatever; a physical comic has certain things.
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The emotions in all true anxiety dreams are next to unbearable.
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Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
DICK CAVETT