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Every time someone says, ‘You know, we really ought to get together,’ if I were really honest, I would ask ‘Why?’

Dick Cavett

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you’re hungry for power.
DICK CAVETT

Eat Food Hungry Myself Power
I find most ‘sacred music’ pretty dismal.
DICK CAVETT

Finding Music Myself Sacred
The authority of depression is horrifying. I felt like my brain was busted and that I could never feel good again. I really thought that I was never gonna heal.
DICK CAVETT

Authority Depression Feeling Horrible
I don’t see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty – and evaporating quickly.
DICK CAVETT

Bright Empty Evaporate Future Language Myself Quick
If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.
DICK CAVETT

Campaign Comedy Myself Pizza Run Talent Wisdom Young
My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew’s and Albert Einstein’s.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Intelligence Myself
Chris Matthews can’t start any sentence without ‘Let me ask you this… ‘ And I love Chris Matthews! But almost everybody in journalism does it. Who’s stopping you? Just say it!
DICK CAVETT

Journalism Myself Sentence Start
I haven’t ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.
DICK CAVETT

Appreciation Art Form Greatness Wonderful Writing
Commercials are not the only exposure that obesity gets on TV. It is by no means a rarity on the wonderful Judge Judy’s show when both plaintiff and accused all but literally fill the screen.
DICK CAVETT

Commercial Exposure Judge Rare Screen
I live a sensible life. You know, I don’t take on too much.
DICK CAVETT

Life Live Myself
The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.
DICK CAVETT

Force Police Sex
There are online forms you can fill out to send to your lawmakers, demanding that nothing – nothing at all or in any way – be done about any guns whatever, anywhere.
DICK CAVETT

Form Law Online Weapon Yourself
Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.
DICK CAVETT

Day Device Myself Sick
When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
DICK CAVETT

Appearance Count Death Show Talk Yourself
The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show… Cops would come by – often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.
DICK CAVETT

Administration Eyes See Sight
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen

Every time someone says, ‘You know, we really ought to get together,’ if I were really honest, I would ask ‘Why?’

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Every time someone says, ‘You know, we really ought to get together,’ if I were really honest, I would ask ‘Why?’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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