Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.
DAVE CHAPPELLEThe kid is the best thing that ever happened to me.
More Dave Chappelle Quotes
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All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
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The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
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People don’t know what it’s like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
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Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.
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Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.
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My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’
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I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
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I don’t want the money. I don’t want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.
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I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
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I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
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I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.
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The kid is the best thing that ever happened to me.
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I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
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I got married recently. So far, so good. Less sex than I expected, but other than that, it’s a pretty good lifestyle.
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I’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE