My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
DAVE CHAPPELLEWeed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
More Dave Chappelle Quotes
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For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.
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When I’m on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
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I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.
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Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.
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You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
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I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
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I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
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The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.
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I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.
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Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
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I’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it.
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The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. “I don’t understand this person. So they’re crazy.” That’s bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.
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I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.
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I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
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I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
DAVE CHAPPELLE