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I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.

Dave Chappelle

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Bad Country God Hope Land Myself Swear
Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Late Listening Myself Quit Work
I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Condition Failure Love Myself People
My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Comedy Imagination Myself Question Wife
You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Old People Right Yourself
Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Comedy Field One Liner Orientation
I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Leaving Level Myself Necessary Relationship Work
One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Change Drama Leap Money Oneself People
I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Care Issues Money Myself Work
If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Lose People Right Yourself
I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Children Fact Laughter Love Show
Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Action Death Kill Woman
I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Goodness Life Money Oneself Time
The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Boundary Limitation Yourself
I started when I was 14. I figured out that’s what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, “You’re gonna be a comedian,” and all this stuff.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Comedy Myself People Remember Start
I don’t want the money. I don’t want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Drama Fun Money Myself Show

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.

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I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.

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Popular Authors

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