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Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

Dave Chappelle

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Bad Country God Hope Land Myself Swear
Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they’re socially callous.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Comedy Earth People Sensitive Social
Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Comedy Field One Liner Orientation
Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Country Fame Place
The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Angry Himself Mindset People Position
I got a lot of positive people around me.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Myself People Positive
Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Himself Platform Reparation Serious Slave Thinking Win
I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Care Issues Money Myself Work
I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Leaving Level Myself Necessary Relationship Work
My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Comedy Imagination Myself Question Wife
Constantly take inventory of what’s important to you.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Important Invention Yourself
The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Hard True Watch Yourself
Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Bad Function Smoking Substance Yourself
I got married recently. So far, so good. Less sex than I expected, but other than that, it’s a pretty good lifestyle.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Goodness Life Marriage Style
No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Answer Children Hands Old Phone Yourself
If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Lose People Right Yourself

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

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Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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