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They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.

Dave Chappelle

Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Kind Stand Yourself
I got married recently. So far, so good. Less sex than I expected, but other than that, it’s a pretty good lifestyle.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Goodness Life Marriage Style
Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Comedy Interest Place World Yourself
The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Hard True Watch Yourself
The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Happy High Myself
Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Bad Function Smoking Substance Yourself
Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Country Fame Place
I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Children Fact Laughter Love Show
The world can’t tell you who you are. You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Better Personality World Worst Yourself
Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Action Death Kill Woman
People don’t know what it’s like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

People Smile Stand Wall Yourself
I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Image Participate Question Right Support Yourself
Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Bad Fame Greatness Horrible
I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Bad Country God Hope Land Myself Swear
There’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Feeling Stand
For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Famous Gratitude Himself Love Possible

They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.

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Popular Authors

They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Dave Chappelle Quotes