“They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”

President Obama is the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people.

People love westerns worldwide. There’s something fantasy-like about an individual fighting the elements. Or even bad guys and the elements. It’s a simpler time. There’s no organized laws and stuff.

I’d like to be a bigger and more knowledgeable person ten years from now than I am today. I think that for all of us as we grow older, we must discipline ourselves to continue expanding, broadening, learning, keeping our minds active and open.

I’m interested in the fact that the less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice.

I keep working because I learn something new all the time.

There’s a lot of great movies that have won the Academy Award, and a lot of great movies that haven’t. You just do the best you can.

An awful lot of good movies have gone unrecognized, and an awful lot of bad movies have had tremendous recognition. As long as you keep that in mind, you are never really disappointed.

Nobody knows diddly. They just think they do. And the people that think they know the most know the least.

Just trust your instincts. There’s an old saying in golf, you’ve studied the swing many times, and you practice and practice, but when you stand over the ball, you just have to trust your swing. And you trust it. And if you don’t trust it, you’ll ruin it; your brain will take over.

I’d say people get to work and start being more understanding of everybody – instead of calling everybody names, start being more understanding. But get in there and get it done. Kick ass and take names. And this may be my dad talking, but don’t spend what you don’t have.

First, I blow a hole in your face; then I go back inside, and sleep like a baby… I guarantee you.

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.

Tomorrow is promised to no one.

We are like boxers, one never knows how much longer one has.

You can’t stop everything from happening. But we’ve gotten to a point where we’re certainly trying. If a car doesn’t have four hundred air bags in it, then it’s no good.

Of course we all know Biden is the intellect of the Democratic Party. Kind of a grin with a body behind it.

It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.

I’m very, very amateur, which is funny because I’m not in the amateur leagues.

He who laughs lasts.

There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.

If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’