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There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.

Brendan Behan

I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Fighting Men Two Woman
There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Made Miserable Situation
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Marriage Sexy
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Hands Life Modern Toss
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Dublin Irish Life People
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Judging Said Umpires
If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Accepting Country Irish Limitation People
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor
Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Contempt Jailer Prison
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models

There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.

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There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.

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