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When I’m talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Every cripple has his own way of walking.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cripples Walking Way
Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
BRENDAN BEHAN

May Results Tasks
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Money World
When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Fighting Men Two Woman
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Judging Said Umpires
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Contempt Jailer Prison
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models
There’s no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Like Love One Love You
If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Accepting Country Irish Limitation People
A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles … it takes your mind off the cost of living.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cost General Living Mind War
There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Bad Obituary Publicity
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinking People Ruined
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny

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