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God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.

Brendan Behan

Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Dublin Irish Life People
There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Made Miserable Situation
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
Most horror movies are certainly that.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cinema Horror Most
In a society which really supported marriage the wife would be encouraged to go to the office and make love to her husband on the company’s time and with its blessing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Blessing Husband Marriage
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Addiction Country Enough Irish People
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Judging Said Umpires
Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Contempt Jailer Prison
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Summer Winter
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
When I’m talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.
BRENDAN BEHAN

People Talking Way
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake

God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.

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God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.

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