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One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.

Brendan Behan

Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
I’m a Communist by day and a Catholic as soon as it gets dark.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Catholic Communist Dark
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Dublin Irish Life People
What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Differences History Men
God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Family Forgive Men Mother
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Judging Said Umpires
When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Fighting Men Two Woman
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor
Scream at God if that’s the only thing that will get results.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Prayer Results Scream
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Children Married Painter
I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It’d depend whose life.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Capital Crime Imagine Punishment
A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles … it takes your mind off the cost of living.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cost General Living Mind War

One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.

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One drink is to many for me and a thousand not enough.

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