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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.

Brad Williams

I try not to be hateful.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country Hateful People Trying
I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That’s the constant. That’s the thing that I’m going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Constant Love Show Television
Every now and then we’re going to fail.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Every Failing Now Then
Every now and then you’ll say something that didn’t quite work. But the important thing is, as a comic, you try to learn why it didn’t. And then you adjust and figure out how to either make it work or just abandon it because it’s just not funny.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Important Now Then Trying
It’s extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what’s going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country Educated Extremely Laughing Silly
Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they’ve seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Mean People Realized Seen
I’m not going to talk too much politics because I’m not smart enough to do that.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Enough Much Smart Too
It’s weird when people ask me, “Why are you so nice?” It’s like, “Because that’s just what you should do. You should be kind to people.” It seems really basic, but it’s amazing how many people forget that.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Be Kind Nice People
I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Funny Guy Guy Want
When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Night Soldier
I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It’s a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedy Country People Told
I’m funny because I’m funny. And there’s more to offer.
BRAD WILLIAMS

More Offers Funny
I hate that when people are like, “Well, all dwarves know each other, right?” And you want to get mad, but you can’t because we do.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Dwarves Hate People
Now, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Careers Knows Years
I don’t know why you’d go to a comedian and say, “You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.”
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Menus
I’m in awe of comedians that do things that I can’t do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be – hell, Carrot Top. I can’t be Carrot Top. I can’t.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Issues
If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Asian Black People
I don’t get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Issues Silly Trying
Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because… they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can’t take it to a dangerous place.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Dangerous Female Honest
There are things that I won’t joke about, but it’s not because I don’t think they’re funny or they can’t be made funny. It’s just that they don’t fit my particular skill set.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Apart Haer Joke Skills Thinking
I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don’t pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Children Fun People
There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country People Problem
I admire ventriloquists, because I can’t do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can’t do what they do.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Mean might Now Then
It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Confusing People
If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Average League Thinking
People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Done Hey People
Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Statements True

If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.

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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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